I miss the water

I had dinner the other night with two of the loveliest ladies I know.   We met in prenatal yoga when we were all pregnant with our firstborns.  Our group started out much bigger than just the 3 of us.  If I remember correctly there were about 10 of us.  We all had our babies within 6 weeks of each other and if I remember correctly, they were all boys minus one little girl.  At that time, I hadn't even heard about "mommy groups."  But a mommy group we became.  It was the best thing I did for myself, for my baby, and for my sanity.  There were so many times when I thought there was no way I could make it to our get together so I would call Parker in tears and he would somehow talk my unshowered, sleep deprived, milk leaking butt into going. And it never failed that I would show up and feel the comfort of not being alone in my squalor. I wasn't the only one struggling with being a new mom. With the exception of one mom being a super douche who ALWAYS showed up with a beautiful blowout, full makeup, size 2 figure hugging clothes and her baby in some totally stupid getup, complete with pants, shirt, vest or sweater, shoes and a matching hat.  That b*&#h also had the nerve to recommend Spanx to me in a very friendly just trying to help you hide your fat my friend, sort of way.  I almost slapped her in the mouth.  Aside from her, I wasn't the only one who hadn't showered. I wasn't the only one who forgot to eat breakfast.  Or lunch.  I wasn't the only one who showed up with a kid in pajamas rather than real clothes.  I wasn't the only one who had spit up down the back of my shirt. Or in my hair.  I also wasn't the only one who forgot to bring diapers.  For a newborn, seriously?  Yes, it happens.  And lastly, I wasn't the only one who forgot her boobyliner milk absorbers a time or two.  Circle back to some recurring items - first time mom - sleep deprived - milk leaking.  Sprinkle on some hormones and it's an absolute effing train wreck. Don't tsk me.  Babies are tough. They totally suck sometimes.  It has nothing to do with how much you love and adore them. They simply do a number on you physically and mentally.  Anybody who denies that is lying. Anybody who doesn't confess to this is spineless coward.

We struggled alongside each other in those early, foggy days.  But we had a lot of laughs.  We would spend hours together on our "play dates."  My favorite memories are of walking along the bay in Tiburon with views of the Golden Gate Bridge.  We had one epic get together that, if we recall accurately, may have lasted about 6 hours.  We strolled, we nursed, we strolled some more.  We had a long, lazy lunch.  We cleaned up blowouts and spit up.  We strolled some more.  We laughed and we cried.  Sometimes in a hysterical combination thereof.

Those days are long gone, but fondly remembered.  I know having such a supportive group got me up and over that first year hump.  Our group has changed dramatically since that first year.  A few of the girls went back to work. A couple of them couldn't hang.  Thankfully!  (i.e. super douche) And a couple of the others, sadly, moved away.  (Never a get together goes by that we don't miss you T.)  As you can imagine, being in different areas, going to different schools and classes, it's hard to get together as often as we would like.  And now with second children, it's nearly impossible to find days and times that work for all. So we settle for the next best thing which is getting together, just the girls, a few times a year.  If I could get together with any or all of my girlfriends for dinner once a month, I imagine I would be a much happier, much more resilient person and therefore, a heckuva better mom!  I walked away from our dinner the other night totally rejuvinated. And I walked in feeling pretty darn good to begin with!  But there's nothing like the love and support of wonderful mama friends to lift you up and set you a-flight.  We caught up as much as we could in the time we had.  I once again marveled at the unbelievable beauty of friend 1s virgin locks.  i.e. She never has to dye them.  Not even never has to . Never has. I know, it's sickening.  But amazing hair + would never suggest spanx = a good friend to me.  Friend #2 shared her feelings about the moment she met her daughter.  In a hospital room, with the birth mother present.  Eeee gads is right!  She's one tough chick.  We also compared the exasperation of trying to get out of the house and to school in the mornings.  Amazingly, I'm not the only mom who gets tired of the sound of her own voice while herding the wee ones out of the door and into the car.  I love hearing about what's going on in their lives.  It makes my life seem simple and boring in comparison, but it also makes me want to tackle my days with ferocity.  If they can do it, doggone it, so can I!  And if one of them has gone through this whole adoption business  and lived to tell the fairy tale, potty training difficulty, end of it, then so will I!

Power to the mamas!  Thank you for helping get me going down the road and up the hill.  I can't wait to celebrate with you as I come barreling down the other side.  Get your corkscrews warmed up.  Mama won't be breastfeeding this time around.