I spent most of my morning at a PTA meeting and short of my soap box on "free school? Move to Oakland!" campaign, I will keep it short and sweet that private school tuition in the city isn't looking all that bad in comparison to the projections for the budgets for California and our schools. It will be increasingly more difficult, and more expensive, to give our children the education in which we expected when we chose the town and the schools that we did. There is tremendous support from the parent community but unfortunately, that's only 15% of the voters and would be parcel tax payers. Shoot! This is not going to be easy. And to think we moved out here and thought we won the school lottery. Well, we did, but not for much longer. I know schools aren't the most important thing to many of you. Some of you are jobless or without health insurance or have dealt with far more tragic circumstances, but in my little bubble of simplicity and domesticity, it's a big freaking deal.
I'm concerned about this because we have not 1 more, but 2 more children who will enter elementary school in the coming years. Who woulda thought I would become any sort of advocate for anything kid related. ME? At a PTA meeting? I know, it's a little crazy. I've morphed into this mommy being I don't even recognize some days. But listen here, I will not morph so far as to put stickers of kid characters on the back of my car or plywood appendages sticking out of or off it either. Reason enough to not let my kids learn how to swim that well. (It's a swim team thing.) I also will never, ever, drive a minivan. I'm not judging! Not with any of this. It's simply not for me. (Let's face it, most of you wouldn't be caught dead driving my bald, bare smurfmobile either.) As practical and luxurious as all of that minivan room is, with auto opening sliding doors, enough room for a kid to stand up and walk out on his own. It sounds fabulous. Even more so if the option of a limo type partition is included in any of the packages! But still, not for me. I will keep driving a practical vehicle that my kids are stuffed into, have to hunch over on their way out, kick the door open with one foot while holding their hunched over bodies in place till they can sort of tumble on out. That's my kinda ride. A hold on to your youth and independence a little too long sort of thing. I do need to start thinking about what kind of vehicle to get next though. As much as I would love to stuff another kid into the current ride, it wouldn't be possible or legal. In any way, shape or form. Not to mention you get what you pay for. I have a super cute, cheap car. And it's a pile of shit. A not yet a year old dies driving down the street with your kids in it twice in four months and you never quite know when the thermostat is going to come on pile of shit. Not good. But cute! And cheap! And fiercely practical. For a single girl. Who lives in the city. So, something to think about. A smallish vehicle that can fit 3 car and/or booster seats in it. And it can't be too big. I already said no minivan. But I also don't want a big SUV. We have one now and have had even bigger ones and they're just not my cup of tea even if they are cool and tough and rugged. So the playing field has been narrowed and it's time to start considering some makes and models. If there's one thing I love, it's a research project so I've added best cars for 3 kids to my to do list. I probably have to get serious about it sooner rather than later though. While we think we're a couple of months from finding out who baby sister is and about 6 additional months from then of traveling to pick her up ... as you've learned, we don't have ultimate control over any of this so I need my wheels to be prepared in case we get a call in 1 month and have a medical expedite or some other unplanned for event. So new wheels. Pronto. Let me know if you're in the market for the cutest pile of shit on the road. I'll swing you a hot deal. If there's one thing we're better at than buying and selling houses and moving around the bay area, it's buying and selling new cars. I'm committing this time though. Going all in . 3. Year. Lease. Baby.
More food for thought, that damn list of special needs. Have we gone over it yet? Of course not. We keep talking about it.
"So babe, we should probably sit down and go over the list."
Parker "Ugh. Do we have to do it tonight? I'll tell you what. I'll put it in my bag and take a look at it on the way to or from work and then let's talk about it one night this weekend."
Me "Okay."
Weekend comes. Kids are asleep. Parker foils my plan by pouring me a glass of wine before I even sit down. And by the time I do sit down, he's pouring me a refill. By then I have forgotten all about my plan and then when I remember it halfway through the strange movie we're watching on demand because we've watched everything new or good because we stay home every freaking weekend now that we live in the suburbs, it seems wrong to look at it as a tipsy afterthought. This, this just seems like something we should do in a cold, dark room after learning our bank account has been hacked and drained. Or maybe over coffee while the boys are with a sitter so we can actually give it the thought and respect it commands. We also have a great resource that we need to tap into for help. Parker's buddy from college's wife used to be the coordinator for the China Waiting Child Program at an agency in DC. It would be great to get her thoughts on what does this type of special need really mean .. what ages are most of the kids from this special need .. what's the most common of the minor/correctable. And how many kids get put on the list each month. We've heard anecdotally that our agency gets a list of a hundred kids each month and some are easy to place and she locks their files immediately while others with more moderate to severe needs get put on a shared list for others to review. Our agency is great but they also play the you make the call card well. i.e. it's all subjective. Some families consider Hep B to be a big deal while others think it's minor. So first-hand insight will be tremendously helpful. Another note for the to do list. Make contact with important all knowing individual who is married to Parker's friend.
Still haven't looked at the I-800A application. I may wait until I print it out and can sit and read it in peace and quiet. Like I could have done today instead of writing all of this.
This image is the back of a photo I posted back in the beginning of my blog. The photo is of me with my foster mother. The back of it is some info. My name at the time was Rachel Anne. I was also a number. The date was 7/25. I was almost 5 months old, but was about the size of a newborn. I was 2 pounds 9 ounces when I was born. It would be a feat in today's world to keep a child that size alive given my rough start at being born about 3 months premature, so imagine my little struggle almost 39 years ago. My parents were told that I may have hydrocephalus and would probably have developmental delays. They took me anyway. It doesn't have to be nature to be natural. My parents opened their hearts to a baby that wasn't perfect and that probably has a lot to do with why I'm about to do the same. As for my husband? This is another testament to what an amazing and inspiring person he is.
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