And she's 18 months old

It's so strange to think we have another child.  Another child who we didn't meet the moment she hit fresh air, and instead will greet her shortly before or after her second birthday.

At a party the other night I talked to a woman who, with her family of course, if I'm correct, is the only other family in our town who has adopted internationally.  I may have mentioned much earlier on that I had emailed with a woman who sounds similar... rightfully so, because it's her. It was like meeting a celebrity. I was star struck.  It was so great to meet her in person.  She put me at ease and made light of all the mumbojumbo we have to go through.  And more importantly, laughed off how weird it is to be handed a kid, whether it's 2 minutes, or 2 years, old.  They just brought their daughter home about a year ago.  Their transition has been pretty seamless.  I'm sure ours will totally be like theirs. I mean, we live in Moraga, our families are perfect, the setting is idyllic.  Pffffft.  I know ours won't be that easy.  They didn't get lucky. They're just better at this. They have done it before.  Their oldest son is bio, second is adopted, then the daughter is adopted too.  I loved just listening to her though.  I feel like as much as I try to personalize it, I get so caught up in all of this adoption talk/business that I feel like I'm talking more about a process than a person.  I know we just met our "person" a few weeks ago, but listening to her humanized it for me.  She shared lots of tips, cracked a lot of jokes and provided more moral support than she'll ever know.  Her daughter was about 3 when they brought her home. She never once mentioned anything about the past, only how great their time has been thus far.  I can't wait to be at that point.  Right now I'm still sort of stuck.

We've missed a lot of firsts in baby sister's 18 months.  First smile. First roll.  First tooth.  First giggle.  First step.  First word.  It's so strange to think we have a daughter who has experienced all of those things without us. Without us AND, quite possibly, without anyone else to smile back, cheer her on, or otherwise revel in her development. We are deep in the name discussion (we've made a decision.. more on that later.. ) and last night my girlfriend was over and she asked about what she's been called so far and if she'll be attached to her name.  I reminded her that it's not like she gets talked to individually much at all, and they may or may not use her name or make a big deal about it. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully comprehend the lifestyle of the institutionalized.

Rather than stay stuck on what cannot be undone,  I'll try to take a cue from my new friend and start focusing on the future.  Following are all of the firsts I can't wait to share with baby sister:

• Her smile... in person.
• The sound of her voice.
• Her reaction to meeting her brothers and her daddy (and the heart melting I will experience as a result)
• Our first hug.
• Her first taxi, train and/or plane ride!
• Her first trip to, my universal happy place, the beach.
• The cool, creamy indulgence that is... ICE CREAM!
• The first time she says I love you.. to any of us! ... hopefully not some random ... you never know with these kids!

It will be interesting to see in which order these play out.  I'm sure we'll hear her voice right away.   Maybe not quite in the words she uses, but in the screaming that is produced by plucking her away from her I know nothing different and was happy as a clam till you made me come here, kind of scream!  I think ice cream may speak a universal language so we may use that to bribe her. I've heard lollipops work great as well.  We won't have a choice, or an impact on many of the others.  We have to get to a different province to finalize the adoption, then yet another to fly home from.  Taxi to airport, plane to next place, taxi from airport to hotel, taxi to train station, taxi from train station to airport.  Hopefully while all of this is going on, we'll fit in some of the others.  A hug... a smile?  I can't wait.