Just deciding...

The long, exhausting wait is over.  I checked my phone about 10x last night.  Parker had to travel today and so of course we stayed up too late (11:30ish) since making a flight is easier to do tired than is showing up and actually having to work!  I slept restlessly until about 3:45 when I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally got up and walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. I thought about just staying up but working to make my body go back to sleep is a lot easier than staying awake with nothing to do but think!  I nodded off again somewhere between 5:30 and 6am.  Little kid woke up early, around 6:30 and came in for a snuggle.  That warm little body helped me relax and I slept again until a few minutes after 7.  After the big kid woke up, we got up and started our day.  Checked my email a thousand more times in the next hour.  Managed to make breakfast and lunches and get the boys dressed and out the door on time.  Drop offs complete ... autopilot to Starbucks. I finally couldn't stand it anymore so before I went in to get my coffee, I sent a note to our coordinator asking her if she could please just let me know if anything came in.  She emailed me right back, while I was waiting for my coffee, and said to call her. What is up with that?  Why doesn't she ever just call me?

So I ran to my car to call her. There wasn't much of an update given.  We aren't surprised though as we didn't even know if we'd get anything!  We do think it's enough to help us make a sound decision.  We're waiting for the doctor's feedback, which may or may not be helpful.  Upon receipt of her thoughts, I think we're ready to make a decision tonight.  I say I think we are because I think I am and I know we have to so ...

I don't really know what Parker is thinking.  We texted back and forth quite a few times but didn't get to actually speak until he was at the airport getting ready to board his flight home.  Not a conversation you want to have on the phone.  I find it's easier for me to just not talk to him on the phone with this issue looming overhead.  I talk .. a lot .. too much .. too often .. so I can't even get started.  I'm saving it up for tonight's face to face.